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401 S. Lindbergh Blvd.

St. Louis, MO 63131


Fax: 314-993-6462


              Couple’s Name ___________________

Congratulation upon your engagement! Our Lady of the Pillar is pleased to help you as an engaged couple to prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage.

Now that you are engaged, here is what you need to do:


1. Contact the Parish Office, 314-993-2280, to schedule an initial meeting to plan for your wedding. The officiating minister is the first contact.


2. At this initial meeting, please bring:

  • recent copies (within 6 months) of your baptismal certificates, if applicable. If you were not baptized at Our Lady of the Pillar Parish, please contact the church in which you were baptized and request a recent copy of the certificate.


  • If either you or your fiancé have previously been married, bring a copy of the divorce decree and an annulment decree.*


    * Please note that an annulment for a previous marriage, regardless of where the marriage took place, is required before you can marry in the Catholic Church. This can be a lengthy process, so apply for the annulment a minimum of one year in advance of your plans to marry.


    3. If all the requirements for marriage are met, you will then select a date and time for your wedding. Call the Parish Office at least six months in advance.


    4. The presiding priest will ask you to sign this agreement which outlines the details as they affect the use of the church and the behavioral expectations of the wedding party.


    Planning Your Wedding

  • Weddings are celebrated on Friday evenings and Saturdays, no later than 2:00 pm. Weddings are never scheduled on Holy Days. The wedding rehearsal may be scheduled on Wednesday, Thursday or Friday evening (if another wedding is not taking place). The church must be vacated by 7 pm. Arrangements for these times will be coordinated with the officiating Priest or Deacon and the parish secretary.


  • If you have asked for a Priest from outside this parish, you must consult with the Pastor and produce the necessary information provided on the Officiating Priest Form one month in advance of the wedding. If the visiting priest is from outside of the St. Louis Archdiocese, additional steps must be taken.


  • Your wedding celebration will have some facets that are unique because each couple is unique. Other aspects of the wedding will reflect the tradition of the Church.

  • Booklet: Together for Life

                Choose the readings and the readers

                Choose/write the intercessions

                Eucharistic Ministers

                Gift Bearers

    Wedding Liturgy

    Because the Eucharist is the central prayer and worship of the Catholic Church, a wedding between two practicing Catholics is ordinarily celebrated during a Eucharistic Liturgy (Mass). If one of you is NOT Catholic, the Rite of Marriage will ordinarily take place within a service of Scripture readings and prayer, not a Mass.


    If you are a registered active member of the parish, you should contact a member of the clergy prior to arranging any other details for your wedding. The initial meeting will enable the priest/deacon to outline the requirements of marriage preparation for the Archdiocese of St. Louis. This meeting will also allow you to clarify any questions you may have regarding the requirements.


    For parishioners who have been registered and actively supporting the parish for a minimum of 6 months, the offering for use of the church is $500 and should be paid when you reserve the church. This is suggested as a minimum offering and not intended to limit your generosity.


    For parishioners who have been registered for less than 6 months at the time a wedding date is booked, an offering in the amount of $750 will be required.


    If you are not a registered, active member of Our Lady of the Pillar, you must have permission from the Pastor of Our Lady of the Pillar to have the wedding here. The offering will be $1,500.

  • This fee must be paid when the wedding date is placed on the Parish Calendar.



    Preparing for your Marriage

    In accord with the marriage preparation policy established by the Archdiocese of St. Louis, you will need to complete the following:

  • Preliminary assessment of readiness for marriage (FOCCUS)

  • Participation in at least one of the recommended marriage preparation programs

  • Completion of the necessary forms for our Church records, including copies of baptismal certificates

  • Plan the ceremony with the assistance of the priest/deacon and Director of Music

  • If the priest/deacon who is to witness your marriage serves outside of the Archdiocese of St. Louis, please discuss this with the pastor as soon as possible.

  • If you live out of town and are undergoing preparations through a deacon/priest outside of the parish, he must send the appropriate papers to the local Chancery Office, who would then send them to our Chancery Office for approval, three months in advance of the wedding. The approved documents should then be sent to the pastor of Our Lady of the Pillar.



    The architecture of our church is simple by design and does not invite much decoration. Aisle runners are not permitted.  Other flowers/ribbons and pew decorations must be removed. Please remove all programs, boxes, paper, decorations, coat hangers, etc. upon leaving after the wedding. We will not be responsible for items (plants, programs, etc) left behind.


    Flowers: You are responsible for the flowers in the Church.

    All altar flowers you order are left on the altar for the weekend masses.


  • All music for your wedding will be arranged at a meeting with the Director of Music. You may contact the Director at 314-993-2280 to set up an appointment in order to discuss music selections and other liturgical details, including compensation for musicians and servers. This should be done two months prior to the wedding.


  • You may ask other musicians to provide the music.


  • Only liturgical music integral to the wedding liturgy and appropriate to the sacred ceremony is permitted.


    Use of the Cry Room

    The Cry Room is available for your use. Please leave the room clean and orderly when the wedding is finished.


    Photography and Videography

  • Videographers and photographers are to check with the officiating priest/deacon and the wedding coordinator prior to the wedding in order to obtain their directives and the policies of the parish.

  • Videographers and photographers are NEVER allowed in the sanctuary (the marble floor section).

  • No posed pictures in the church prior to the wedding

  • Posed pictures in the church are allowed after the wedding. They must be completed in the time allowed by the wedding coordinator. Ask the photographer to check with the wedding coordinator before beginning the session.

  • Due to confessions at 4:00 and our 5:00 mass, we ask that you vacate the church by 4:00.

  • Pictures may be taken in the courtyard before or after the ceremony.

  • Pictures are allowed during the ceremony itself. The use of flash photography is allowed during the procession and recession only. The use of flash photography during the ceremony is at the discretion of the presiding priest/deacon.


    Altar Servers

    Please check with the priest or deacon officiating at your wedding concerning altar servers. The parish is happy to provide them. Please inform the wedding coordinator if you want us to provide servers. It is customary to give them an offering of $20 each.


    Offering to the Priest or Deacon

    It is customary to present a stipend to the priest or deacon. It will be up to you as a couple to decide what that offering will be, as a gesture of gratitude to the officiating priest or deacon for his time and efforts preparing you for your marriage and wedding. If you would like the priest/deacon to attend the rehearsal dinner and/or wedding reception, please take the time to personally invite him.


    Reverence and Respect

    A Catholic Church is truly a special place for us. It is a place where we celebrate the sacraments of our faith, where we reserve the Blessed Sacrament, where we gather for worship and prayer. We believe that spirit of reverence should characterize our time in church. We ask that all who attend the wedding respect this. It is especially irreverent to eat or drink in our church or vestibule. Further, we insist that no alcoholic beverages be consumed or flammable items be used on parish property. The dropping of flower petals, throwing rice, bird seed or confetti or launching balloons is not permitted anywhere on the grounds.


  • _____ Fully complete the Pre-Nuptial Investigation Form

  • _____ Provide Baptismal certificates

  • _____ Bring Marriage License to the Rehearsal (must be applied for within 30 days of
               the wedding)  

  • _____ Visiting Priest/Deacon agreement form and information must be presented to the
               Pastor one month before the wedding. If the priest/Deacon is from outside the
               Archdiocese of St. Louis, a letter of suitability must be submitted

  •            Visiting Priest’s Name ____________________ Diocese other than STL: _______

  • _____ FOCCUS


    Complete one of the following:

  • _____ Engaged Encounter

  • _____ Marriage Preparation Course

  • _____ Archdiocesan Pre-Cana Conference


    Wedding Details:


  • _____ Wedding Day/Time ___________________             __________


  • _____ Wedding Rehearsal ___________________              __________


  • _____ Clean up the church after the wedding ~ Appoint someone to remove the
               decorations, the programs, water cups, tissues, etc; to return the Cry Room and the
               upstairs room to their original set up, and throw away boxes, etc. ______________


  • _____ Aisle runners are not permitted


  • _____ Remember that the flowers remain for the weekend masses.



  • _____ Church ($500 in parish; $750 in parish less than 6 months; $1500 out of parish) --

               Due at scheduling. Registration on our calendar is not complete until we have
               received this signed agreement and payment for use of the church.


  • _____ Gift for Priest/Deacon


  • _____ Musicians/Vocalist: fees will be addressed when you meet with the Music Director


  • _____ Servers: ($20 each)



    I/We have read this document and agree to abide by the expectations stipulated in it.


    _________________________________                        ______________________________

    Signature of the Bride                                                                 Signature of the Groom


    _________________________________                        ______________________________

    Print Name of Bride                                                                    Print Name of Groom


    _________________________________                        ______________________________

    Cell/Phone Number                                                                     Cell/Phone Number


    _________________________________                        _______________________________

    e-mail                                                                                          e-mail   



    Home address after you are married